By E.P. EKONG, a legal practitioner I Monday, April 07.26
LAGOS, Nigeria – Women pass through a lot of problems from conception to delivery. E. P. Ekong, a legal practitioner takes a look at this delicate period in this dialogue with the doctor. Enjoy it
Doctor: Madam, the scan result shows it is a girl.
Pregnant woman: Ahh! Doctor, please, take it out.
Doctor: Madam! Why do you want to terminate a five-month pregnancy?
Pregnant woman: Hmmm! Doctor…, this will be the fifth girl, if she lives.
Doctor: And what is wrong with that?
Pregnant woman: Doctor, as we speak, I am the only one catering for the other four girls. My husband does not offer any form of support, even when they are ill. He would rather see them dead. When my fourth girl was just a week and three days old, he tried to kill her on two different occasions. Doctor, I fought for that child to live. If I have this baby, I fear for her safety. She will not survive. If you won’t help me, I will get it done…….
Doctor: Madam! Madam!! Please, wait…….
Femicide is the killing of a girl or woman because of her gender. It is a targetted killing irrespective of the age. It stems from deep seated hatred, intense hostility, harmful and inherited misconceptions about the female gender, reinforced overtime by individuals, groups, societies, communities and villages.
By nature, no one is born with hatred. It is learned, nurtured by several factors amongst which are family background, environment, level of education, drug addiction, sexual abuse of male child, culture and tradition, economy, poverty, domestic violence, trauma, betrayal, adultery, homosexualism, misconstrued theories, societal conditioning etc.
There are people with phobia for the females which crystalises into femicide. Assisted reproductive technology has created an avenue for couples unable to conceive naturally, to do so by artificial method. They also get to choose their desired gender, mostly males. The female gender is destroyed. Femicide is against the principle of Qui non creat, non occidat.
There was this seminar I attended on the topic, “Domestic Violence.” Towards the end of the presentation, the coordinator gave the estimated figures of male and female gender in the world. He went ahead to analyse the male gender by percentage as follows: children, married ones, gays, reverend fathers, incarcerated ones, mentally unstable, drug addicts, widowers, single fathers, the celibates etc. After the analysis, he concluded by saying that just a little percentage of male are eligible and ready for marriage, therefore, value the men in your lives.
I requested that the coordinator should give us the analysis of the female gender in the world, as he did to the male gender. It was obvious he did not do it. Well, I told him that there are a percentage of females who are lesbians, reverend sisters, married ones, mentally unstable, incarcerated ones, drug addicts, single mothers, widows, celibates, etc. On that note, it is good to resist the unquenchable adventure into speculations on the balance of human gender in the world which is beyond our control. Our capacity as human beings is limited.
Reacting to this, it is impossible to ascertain or estimate the population of any gender or both gender in the world, because birth and death occurs every second in the world. It is absolutely in the control of God Almighty, and no human nor technology can do that. There is always a balance in creation.
Femicide occurs every day and in different forms, and the commonest is in the institution of marriage. For example, weeks ago, a man had sexual intercourse with his wife barely four days after undergoing a cesarean section, a major surgical procedure to bring forth a child. What was the mens rea behind the actus reus? Such an act was a flagrant disregard for her existence, and the intention was to kill disguise as a fulfillment of conjugal rights.
Domestic violence is a disguised form of femicide. There are some perverted bachelors who marry with the sole aim of seeking revenge on the female gender, based on childhood trauma witnessed. A lot have died from domestic violence, yet it is normalised and ignored, with fingers pointing at the dead. It is funny how we encourage endurance and patience in the face of femicide, couples hide under the umbrella of marriage to perpetrate wickedness and murder. Yet, it is dismissed as” husband and wife matter”, they will settle it, unworthy of intervention until death occurs. Like slow poison, femicide creeps in and enjoys protection.
As a result of this, ladies avoid marrying into some States or Local Governments because of the extreme preference for male children, which might put their lives and dignity at risk. As portrayed in the opening dialogue, some couples terminate pregnancies when the scan result shows that the unborn child is a female. In fact, the termination continues until it becomes risky or the desired male child is conceived.
There have been horrifying cases where female children are killed at birth. Two years ago, a man smashed his five days old baby daughter against the wall and ran off. The grieving new mother bent down to gather the pieces of her dead baby girl to fix her back to life. An impossible task, unable to bear the pain and gory sight of her scattered daughter, she lost her mind and was admitted to the psychiatric ward. Who then becomes responsible for the surviving children who are females? The society? The state? Their father? Or the system that failed them?
What is your role in femicide?
Femicides hide in words, actions, or conduct. It sometimes does not wear a violent appearance. Some women are the enablers of femicide. A woman put to bed, and a simple comment from another woman, “Another girl”? Let the next one be a boy”, may seem harmless and encouraging, but it has unsettled the new mother, and also sowed a seed of insatiable quest for a son, dissatisfaction, anxiety and self-blame. It is important to love oneself to live.
A woman who terminates her pregnancy because the foetus is a female does not love herself. What if she dies in the process? He will continue his hunt for a male child until he gets one or dies trying or repents. When he realises, he is not destined to have a male child, or maybe he was cursed. Some men prevent their pregnant wives from knowing the sex of their child. They do this to protect the wellbeing of their spouses. Doing otherwise may lead to high blood pressure, depression or complications during childbirth or death. When some women discover that they are carrying a female child, they become destabilised, moody and aggressive throughout the period of pregnancy.
In some cultures, a man’s worth is tied to having male children, while men with only daughters are ridiculed and marginalised. If a family gives birth to all girls, while another gives birth to all boys etc., why the conflict? There are women who conceal the sex of their unborn child till birth in order to enjoy love and affection.
Biologically, men carry the XY chromosomes while women carry the XX chromosomes. Despite education, scientific knowledge and civilisation, women are still blamed for not birthing a son. This misplaced blame is a subtle form of femicide in motion. There are cases of incompatibility in the reproductive process which are always ignored. A man may find it difficult to bear sons with his wife, but goes on to have male children with another partner with ease. This underscores the biological reality that the sex of a child is determined by the man, not the woman. Yet, society burdens the woman with this responsibility.
According to economists, human wants are insatiable. You cannot have it all, I cannot have it all. Enjoy the moment, enjoy the love, no one lives forever to ensure continuity of whatever is left behind. Life is not a checklist to be completed, but a journey to eternity.
Say “No” to femicide. Life must be valued, every life, irrespective of gender. You do not know whether the family name you are desperate to preserve was once carried forward by a woman. Let’s cherish the girl child because the legacy of a man’s name is often preserved by his daughters.
NB: E. P. Ekong, a legal practitioner, can be reached via, [email protected]
